i feel so alone in this so called "mission".i dun even know where i am heading to and also have the least idea wad am i supposed to do. it's jus now or never. once i leave, things cant be done as easily but now, i dun even know where to start from. the future seems so bleak. i doubt i will be able to start cedar. shhesh. sorry`

hais. i have been feeling so ughhhh lately. dunno wads up with me. everything jus keeps piling on top of me.. choices. i hate to make choices. i really do. ppl ask me.. answer will jus be "i dunno". and i also hate that too. aiya. wad crap am i talking. i have got so many added on responsibilities.. and i am suffocating from it.. and my studies are lyk shit. and i still got so many stuffs to btoher about.. important and not important.. but at the end of it all, its the outcome that i am afraid about. i dun wanna fail in wadeva i do.i mean who wans rite..! i have failed enough both studies and in terms of outside stuffs. i jus feel lyk crying it out and hopefully everything goes with my tears... yarh rite. if it was so easy la. wads more, training yesterday was horrible la.. threw 15-17m.. woohooo.. 12m off my pb.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. i think i have peaked already..; and form is going down.. that how i feel.. oh wells, have comp this sun.. and there is retreat some more.. another choice to be made. why mus it b on the same day. whywhywhy.

gloria calleed me pri 3 girl. grrr.. thought it was btw me and estee.. haha. more knows about it that i am actually a pri 3 girl. oh no. my deepest secret is out. hhaa.. well, today qt slack lehs.. tried to do abit of fnn but cant make it.. dun feel lyk doing le. ahloke was suppsed to come over to collect blades but she nv come cause she woke up late.. tsktsk. haha..


seon is so cute.

went to church today. ermm..not a very good one though. was all so distracted by so many stuff.;(at first went to church with loke.. and i was super tired. and loke could tell i wasntin the right state of mind. she said i wasnt myself. the bubbly liang ming. guess i was jus super tired and some other stuffs bothiering me ba. went to church.. worship first.. i felt all so distractedby dunno wad.. think i was jus tired and sleepy. during word..woah.it was worse. i was tired and i somehow lost myphone. cause i put my phone on top of somepost cards and i accidentally hit the post cards and it all fell on the floor. i picked up all the post cards and only to realise my phone was missing. and feltit was all wierd. lyk where couldhave my phonefly to.. search the entire floor stil cant find. sigh. and wasnt even listening to sermon at all.. felt grrrr...only heard pastor's voice and i was bz looking for myphone. sigh. at first, i thought eve wasplaying with me and she kidnappedmy phone.. but apparently not.. earchhigh andlowstill cantfind.. and it suddenlyoccured to methat estee chould have taken it.. askedher and she deny. afterthatthought it was hergang that took it.. it was kindaobvious it was them.. butthey sitll wentonactingblur and dunn wan totell me.hmphh. den estee passme her phone. at first i thoughtit was mine butit was actually hers.. grrr.. bluff me. atthe endofitall, they gave me backmy phone.. and gloriais so cheeekyla.. take already.. den after that putunder herchairandclaim that itflew there.. woahh..howreal can that b.. haha.. yups. felt qt grrrr andbadmood afterthat.. notthat bcosthey took my phopne or wad.. buti missed almost theentire msg.. andfeltthati wasted mytime there.. sigh. saw loke afterthat.. andshe seemed sad andwas cryingg.. gaveher ahug andshe cried even more.. sorrrrie girl. hopeuarealright now.. cheeriosokiess. anyway,after thatwentoff for dinner. dinner's food was okkaky.some wasnice andsome was horrrid.espthe fake abalone.. haha.. talkedto liangppei alottoday. shred God's wordwitherher..and invitedherforthespook show.. she seems qtinterestedandexcitedfor it.. woohoo.. butshe isa christian alreadyy..haha..butyea..!


sorrie peeps.this postis lykno spacing..causethis key board i am using is spoilt, madorwadeverucall it. hahaha.

the Lord is my shepherd,
i shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul
He guides me in path of righteousness
for His names` sake
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i shall fear no evil
for You are with me
Your rod and Your staff
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You aniot my head with oil
my cup overflows
surely goodness and love shall follow me in all the days of my life
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever.
Amen.

heyheyheyhey! i am back fropm thailand! woohooo.. i pretty much miss that place too.. the thought of staying with the fellow throwers and training tog.. the environment there is qt cindusive for training. ;)

18thjune
went to the air port at 0830 and met aud. it was lyk dejavu. me&mydad, her&herdad was there for breakfast once more! it happened lyk 2 years back.. pretty funny la.. my dad ask her dad about socccer when he knew nuts about it.. perhaps he was jus starting the convo.. haha.. me&aud felt that they were super funnny.. but they seem to click qt welll.. oh yes! and aneesa came! she came to see us off and pass me something. wad a sweet little thing.. and eve was suppsed to come but she was fast asleepp.. hohoho... heh. hmmss.. gathered at about 9 plus.. and off we went to thai. was qt dreading the trip actuually, but end of it all. it was not that bad la.. it was awesome! when we reacheed thai, we collected the laugguages and went off to suphanburi..and guess wad.. we were arranged in such a way that all the disciplines were in the same room.. but some of the throwers had to go to other rooms cause there were too moany of us.. grrr..had orentation training.. not bad la.. the weather was gd.. not too hot but super winddddy... this training was so not training at all. many found it was qt tough.. and i liked it..! we did legs drills, striding and ltr sprints.qt long nv do this kinda training. qt a good start to it all.. gets our leg muscles warmed up! after that, we had dinner and the food was gd.. mayb cuase we were jus all so hungry.. ;) after dinner, went to bath and i tell u the whole place is mos quito infected and erm.. was bathing with water and mosquitoes. so disgusting!!! and back in my room.. we were having pillow fight with garuda pillows.. was super hilarious.. missed sgp abit.. and EVE called! woohooo.. prayed for me and aud and chatted with her for awhile. such a nice panda i have.. long dist call...... and so happened.. ms loke, pat and grace was there too.. so all prayed for us.. so happy yo hear their voicess.. ;) after that.. almost all the throwers gathered.. and we share the word of God and i closeeed. felt that God's presence was really with me.. cause it is one of the rare times that i could pray out fluently and not get stuckedd... shalom did word and she is som pro la.. she memorise the verses de.. and i was lyk woah!!! i will be lyk her.. already started to memorise pslams 23 yesterday (25thjune). heh.. and off to bed we wenttt.. qt a tiring day.. reflected alot and set my objectives right.. spend some quality time with God and it was superbbbb`
19thjune
crawled otu of bed at 0555.. had training at 0639.. was qt a bad training.. almost everone was off form. and mr seem claims that out leg has no power.. grrr... threw sp and discus.. but it was all so off.. ended training qt early, cuase i guess he got pissed already.. so he asked us to keep.. had breakfast after that... and den siesta.. woahh.. everone was practically sleeping already. guess it all exhaustion.. qt a suprising sight.. sleep after eating.. anf its everyone in the room sommoemore.. haha.. after that had to wake up an hour ltr for self study.. couldn wake up.. was still qt stoned while studying.. had luch after that and went for some cutural showw.. hohoho.. we din even understand a single thing cause it was all in thai.. all i kept seeing was a horse gallaoping here and there.. and half of the cedar population was asleep.. including the teacherss.. cant help me la.. we were all qt tired.. and sitting there listtening to smoething we dun understand at all... felt qt bad after that.. left half way throughout the show.. the teachers saw no point in staying there i guess.. afternoon's training was a killer training.. we did staircase training.. the steps were as high as those in national stadium.. had to run up&down without skipping any steps.. had to run up&down skipping 1 step.. did 4 sets each.. and the whole cell was at church while i was suffering.. grrrrr.. heard they did ushering dutttty.. so cool. i also wanna do.. sigh.. i was doing stair case drill la.. hahahah.. after that still had to do leg drilss and striding... and ltr sprinting.. our legs were all practically dying.. but we all persevered through it tog. qt a awesome and nice feeling yet tiring.. after that, still had to do FOUR rounds cool down.. woahhhh.. ms lee was so shock that she asked if we were training for Longdist. and asked how come we cool down and warm up so many rounds one.. hahaha.. had dinner as usual, bathed with mosquitoes and flies... yikes. i dun lyk this part la.. super disgustingggg.. had siesta and the throwers were sleeeping and some others were making loads of noise.. haha.. less than half and hour ltr.. got to get up to interact with the thai ppl.. played games and all.. and worse of it all.. many felt that it was us entertaining them instead of them entertaining us.. we were all so tired to do this kinda thing.. so ended up dragging ourselves to do it.. had mental talk after that.. was trying to stay awake.. had to cause i was sitted right infront.. grrrr* had supper after that.. and ltr.. called loke and so happened the same few people was there again! wheeeeeeeeee.. prayed for us again and erm.. qt ahppy after that call.. not that tired le.. and called daddy and godpa to wish happy daddys` day and msged leepapa... hehe.. after it all.. we gathered again.. and prayedd.. i wonder why i am always the one doing closing.. but i love it la.. haha..;) woahh.. and really could feel the locve of the throwers`, the love of God and the presence of God visiting us.. ;) a rare feeling in a foreign land though.. nitttttey`
20thjune
sigh. qt a bad start to this day. had thatttt thing... grrrr.. qt disgusting la.. had training and all somemore.. grr..


to be continueddd...

Heya ppl! Ming has smsed me that she did her PB yesterday! WoohoO! At least she is back on form and doing better. So the trip is not so wasted after all. Well, Aud and Ming wld b back tml. Hehe. Miss them! Bet they miss us too! Cant wait for them to get back and share abt those mosquito stories. =)

Mings asked me to update her blog, so here i Go! Ming currently in Thai training le. After she reached Thailand, she got bad headache. Duno why. Been quite off-form and her throws are bad. Hope her throws wld get better as her training goes on. Oh yes, we passed the card to Dan's boys for them to write something for him lah. And they haven pass the card to dan. Happie Daddy's day to LeePAPA! haha. Been great having u ard! ermm, duno wat to say le. Mings, when u get back, go read my blog!

woah.. leaving singapore in lyk less than 12hrs.sobs. gonna miss so much here..
1)family
2)eve&dan(HaPpY DaDdYs' dAy!)
3)ahloke
4)pat
5)GRACE!
6)mrssim
7)thecell
8)church-theppl?
9)church svc
10)food
11)aneesa!
i wun miss God cause i know He is every where i need Him.. esp right in myheartt. to acetain extentmayb..heh.;)and loads more.. but i very lazy to name out le.. haha.. sigh.
anyway,havefunbackhere in sgp yea peeps.seeya soon and take greatcare. dun missme+

La Vita È Bella [lost my marbles! ] says:
so red
La Vita È Bella [lost my marbles! ] says:
haha
La Vita È Bella [lost my marbles! ] says:
like always

.: miSs yU :. says:
the red side of u? hahahahahaha

hahaha.. in less than 5 min.. 2 ppl say i am a red person. grr.. haha.. anyway, well be off to thailand tml. hope i survive it... heh. thx eve!!

yay.. in less than 8 hours.. panddda is coming backk! woohooo! 630am as my fellow shot putter sayss.. heh..
anyway, realised i have qt a lot of things to doo b4 the thai trip! andi feel so loadded with all these stufffs.
1)haveneven starting packing my lagguage
2)need to do briefing tml and haven prepare at all
-dicispline
-expectations
-goal setting
-review things to bring
-equipment list
-review on pass weeks performance
3)HOMEWORK!
4)cut hair
5)buy cards
6)plan perforamnce
7)tuition at night
8)buy some toiletries
9)meet mrs sim in the day tml
10) meet eve?!
woah..all in one day.. woohoo.. and off i go the next... ;)
God bless the aeroplane!

yay! my sms princess coming backkk le.. hahha...;) but i am leaving soon too.. thailand thailand thailand. seems that this yr alot ppl qt dread the tripp.. mus b the training and all.. hais.. i lyk half wanna go.. half dun wan?! perhaps more on the want side.. will miss church this weekenddd.. sobss. the thought of training twice a day scareess me.. i know its nothing compared to the sports sch ppl.. but.. perhaps jus not used to it.. jus hope i would be able to do PBs after PBs for both my eventss..
`thiiiird-

praying hard.

harloe.jieming is mad?!hohoho.liang wants mi to update about trainin todaae.so i shall update!!whee~~so interesting.we first did leg drills and den throw.
finally there are more ppl todae.cuz there's liang,xinran,seon and ME!!whee.and i wore my new interesting stupid damn shoes.i think i need to bite it like wad iryani sae.grr.hohoho.den we did glide.hohoho.so scary.we did glide in da PIT!!wah.how interesting can it be.k.it's getting boring down here.but here comes the interesting part.MISS POON CAME!!!whee.and i manage to get more fbt pants.hoho.and guess wad?liang liang did her PB.9.5m.well done kiD! hohoho.den MY DEAREST JUNIOR AMELIA CHUA SHOUTED LIANGMING'S NAME UPON MISS POON ARRIVAL.yeah.mr seem is so scary todae.starting of da trainin he sae he was in the holidae mood den later he started to scold us like mad when we started throwing.todae's trainin seems short to mi.hoho.

k,now liang ming and i are in kershia's house playing?hoho.and kershia is playing with her dogs.her dog look like a carpet,so cute.hohoho.

hoho.liang ming is happy todae!whee.and i hope tt hwei yun will come back on thursdae to see us...hohoho.and i think kershia is so tai tai.shh.dun tell anione is i sae one kaeS?

i miss u. i miss u. i miss u. and yes. we all miss u. u better hurry gun hui lai. haha.. ;)

okies.. hmms... had training yesterday in sch. sprinterrs, longd and throwers were trainin.. anyway, training was qt alright.. beginning to master the spin.. slowly but steadily and yes i know i will. after training. 1mk came pass me some book for her thesis.. and yani so so so super crazy over it.. teased her abit here and there.. can tell she lyks 1mk.. hohoho.. after that went pp mrt to meet ah loke and pat.. and they took so long and worse still, i was lyk half an hour early... haha.. den loke came and we waited to for pats` bus to comee.. heh.. and we boarded and we went to tct. pat brought her fren along.. jX.. she is qt a nice and pleasant girl.. and she said i was CHIO! ;);););) haha.. lol. madness. think she nv see properly... haha.. X-treme was qt funny.. haha.. ps victor is so funnnny.. he is lyk someone who can really make ppl laugh.. his sense of humour is lyk really super greatt...! tried to make jx stay for svc.. but she didnt want cause she had send dinner home for her parents.. so nice and filal... i dun think i will do that lehs. haha.
and svc was really solid.. think jx should have stayed and perhaps ber should have came.. ps julie's sermon was great.. and i was all so immersed in the word of God.. it was powerful...! this shows, women can preech too!! dun have to be the men to do the preeching all the time. haha.. wad a great testimony of God ps julie is.. ;) hope she would preeech more.. haha.. but of course.. the other ps are good also.. think FCBC ps are all great in a way or another.. have their own strngths and of course weakneses too.. but it is only thru` these weaknesses that God can do a great work in you.. you will experience God's presence in your weakneses... ;)
after svc.. we all gathered and prayed.. prayed for the normal stuffs.. though normal, but it sure has powers.. ;) went to amk and eat AJice.. haha.. so big.. i was shocked at the size.. woahhh.. but it was nice and ate bamboo rice too.. den went home and my dearrrrrrest cousion vic was at my house.. so happy to see her cause so long nv see her le.. crapped and talked a little to her before retiring to bed.. ;) wad a day.



be real.. be patient.. be hopeful

i so feel lyk going night cycling again. i need the breeze to blow away all my troubles.. off with thewind it will go and vaniishh. if onlyy` well,was qt disgusted with some stufffs jus now.. and with others piling on.. i can jus suffocate..and hell..i am starting to miss my sms princess. its only been a dayy.

hmmmms.. oh ya.... yesterday at eve house.. qt alot was revealed to me.. so yups.. eve... i will remember wad you said.. i shant disspointt u and God.. punggol u and loke shall go.. i wil try to tackle cedar... ;) qt diff.. but i will try. well, jus now on the way to sch.. gave a thought about wad eve said to me las night.. and yes.. i really feel its time for me to start blessin others and bringing in more salvation... it maybe hard for me.. but i believe with God nothing's impossible.i believe that was wad the Lord has been telling me the las few weeks?! but i jus chose not to bother at times.. =guilty= and i think its a real miracle la.. in the morning.. kinda send out invitation to the crush ppl about X-treme tml.. and when on the bus when i was thinking.. i suddenly receive a few replies here and there.. and some of them should be coming..! whooooo~.. had a vision of starting cedar cell with nicole.. had no idea why.. but she came in my mind then.. kinda wierd.. oh wells.. shall try to work something out soon..
and yups.. off to sch i was.. did the souveniors.. quite cute and nice.. ahah.. socks,sweets and keychains.. lol. had meeting.. and mr tay keep suaning me.. and he is so mean.. haha.. qt funny la he..




"i showed u in all things that you should work as i did and help the weak. i taught u to remember the words of Jesus. He said " it is more blessed to give than to recieve" Acts20:32

wooohoo` las night was qt a fulfullig nite.. and perhaps day too. it all started when i was onling and candyq said she wanna call eve and pray for her.. haha.. in the end.. spread until me, pat,candyl and candyq was in it.. hahaha. decided to conference call.. and oh man.. pat and candyl and eve had no idea wad it wad... indeed huo dao lao, xue dao lao.. heh.. jkjk.. so yups.. and i sabo-ed candyq to be the one to pray.. haha.. okies.. den we call eve.. crapped so much.. and pat seemed half dead.. nonono..half awake i mean.. she sound so not sane.. haha... candyl was at work... and spend most of the time on the phone with us.. tsktsk. yups.. and we were going to start praying when eve sugested that we prayed at night.. cause sarah and xr and dan will be there too.. haha.. and we had 2 options.. do conferencing again.. or go down to eve house.. hahahaha.. crapped along the way.. and the final decision was to go to eve house.. ahahah.. so yups... arrowed candyq to pray.. and she was super scared.. around noon.. she called me and ask me help her... hohoho.. so yups.. in the end became dictation for her.. she is so super funny... i say say say.. den she write. hahaha... den she say.. dun say till so chim.. my ang mo not that gd, ltr eve know not i write one.. lol.. ahhahahah.. funnnnny girl.. spent lyk 2hrs on the phone with her.. help her find the verse and all.. ;) and yupss.. den when to study awhile.. watched tv also.. haha.. at night.. so so so confusing.. one min going.. one min not going.. and i was also at a dilema.. in the end.... all went.. haha.. den at 12 plus.. eve came.. and sarah and pat played with my dog.. and they say my dogs superrr cute.. wad to da.. jsu lyk me.. ;) hahaha.. and off to eve's house we went... was all so excited to hear candyq pray.. woohoo.. went there.. woahhhhh.. so many of dan's boys there... scarrrry` lazed around a bit b4 starting to get down to serious matter. reallised dan is super serious when he talks about impt matter.. qt scary?! haha.. and he can talk super well la.. ;) hmmms.. den startin to pray that time.. i kena arrowed.. oh no.. it was all so scarry. i din even know wad i was praying.. ;( despite all that i said to candyq in the afternoon... still can pray prob.. mayb cause too many pppl there and i couldn really think.. after that horrendous prayer.. candyq prayed.. and it was super duper solid! woohoo.. everyone was amazeeed.. yay!!!! haha. ;) den candyl closee.. woohooo`. had prata.. den lazed ard and kena bullied by eve and xr.. grrrrr.. xr always bully me de.. so naughty.. nvm.. me and sarah will gang up and bully her one of these day.. and one of dan's guy gave us green tea.. ltr mus go try.. he was lyk forcing us to take.. heh..

oh well, praying for others is a real great feeling.. its always better to bless than to receive.. haha.. one of the verse used yesterday.. ;) eve, dan and the mol team should be on the plane time.. hope they are having a ball of a time... and hopefully, there would be a great harvest there.. and more may come to know the Lord. cant wait for eve to return to share the gd news.. ;)